The Real Story of Herb & Hanson

"I knew that he was destined for acoustic destruction when I was in my second trimester with him", says Ma Hanson about her psychotically sinful son, Hanson (one half of the Deliciously Drifting Duo). "I mistook his constant kicking as some kind of discomfort when all he was really doing was busting out in rock ‘n' roll revelry. For a while, I was even thinking that I had some kind of newly acquired lactose intolerance brought about by the pregnancy." And that's where it all began…Those words have never had more meaning…

Unless you want to talk about the beginnings of musical mastery for the other half of the Traipsing Troubadours. Herb was once thought of as the premiere prodigy in Ms. Pac-Man until his gigolo uncle took a week off from the Cirque de Soleil and brought an old beat up guitar to the Manila household, where a seven year old from Hawaii found a bit less productive way to spend his time.

Using the guitar to "channel" spirits by setting up candles around the instrument and speaking in tongues, Herb claims that the spirits called upon told him that he should use the guitar to play music instead of as a ritualistic icon. Not knowing what the word "icon" meant, he picked up the guit-fiddle and began to sing about the sadness brought to him from his lack of vocabulary. He has been relaying his emotions through songs and avidly reading the dictionary ever since. But it wasn't until last year that he discovered that the "dictionary" he had been reading was actually a thesaurus — a confusion no doubt brought about by his lack of vocabulary. It was a good thing that his singing and prowess in the art of love made ends meet.

Herb and Hanson started their collaborative efforts after a long standing feud was resolved with a little help from Bill Cosby. Not only did Mr. Cosby help the two settle their differences (Hanson thought house cats were amphibious, and Herb thought whiskey was a vegetable…ten servings a day…), but he also lent a few dance steps to Hanson. After it was decided that cats would drown, and whiskey WAS in fact a vegetable, the two were able to begin the incredibly successful stint as the best acoustic duo to come along since the Paul Simon teamed up with Young MC.

Over the last twenty-eight years, these two people — boys, men, felons, super heroes, or whatever you see them as — have been trying to spread their message to as many people that would listen. Their message has always been the most important thing to them. Whether the message is expressed through their music, through Hanson's daily comic strip, or through Herb's extremely popular adult magazine, it has always been about the message. That's what counts to these heroes….the message. It is truly amazing that these two mortal men have the strength to continue their quest to create music through their unique brand of Acoustic Destruction. But as long as there is a chance of being able to do a few one armed push-ups after a show, it will always be worth it!