Lorelie and Mr. Eye Patch

By February 14, 2009herb's eye view

Lorelie gets paid to tighten bottle caps and lids, which is probably why she can’t loosen up herself. She carries this weight, equivalent to a coupla good-sized boulders,

right on her shoulders,

and for some reason she wouldn’t have it any other way. Only problem is she’s always tellin’ me how bad her shoulders hurt and I’m startin’ to not care.

Most of the time I think to myself, “Lorelie, if’n yer shoulders hurt, then put them boulders back down on the ground. It’s where they belong anyway.” But most of the time I know better so’s I don’t say squat.

Although, this one time I actually got pushed enough to a level of annoyance that I in all honesty told her exactly what was on my mind.

And she says to me, “Mr. Eye Patch, what in the world are you talkin’ about?”

I tries to explain myself for about 30 seconds when I ultimately say, “Never you mind. I’m jus’ talkin’ weird gibberish fer kicks. Wanna get some lemonade?” ‘Cuz lemonade is somethin’ that we both know is good…sweet and tangy!

I drink a lotta lemonade with my good friend, Lorelie; and we laugh a lot.

And every now and then when my good friend’s not lookin’ or even when she’s sleepin’, I takes out m’hammer and I try to knock a little piece off-a dem boulders. She always turns around or wakes up all confused and all, but I just smile and I go back to my old business.

I always carry ’round that hammer, you know, just in case I get an opportunity to have at them boulders again.

She almost caught me once, but I just shrugged and smiled and we had more lemonade.

Perhaps one day, those bruises on her shoulders will fade away some and maybe Lorelie won’t complain t’me so much as she has before.

Have you ever tried to tighten bottle caps and lids with a boulder on yer shoulder, much less two? It don’t sound too easy ‘cuz it ain’t. Most people would think t’put them boulders down onna ground before they went about their tightenin’, but I don’t think most people can do it ‘cuz I don’t think most people know that them boulders are even there.

I carry m’hammer around even when I’m not with m’good friend, Lorelie…

I carry m’hammer and I drink alotta lemonade, and usually I keep m’mouth shut…usually.


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