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New Underwear

By July 24, 2009herb's eye view

I did it. I actually did it. I got so lazy that instead of doing laundry, I actually bought more underwear. But, it came back to haunt me regardless.

Yesterday morning, I was getting ready to start my day and ripped open the plastic bag containing the brand new 3-pack of knit boxers by Fruit of the Loom in Medium. Ahhh! Fresh boxers, and I didn’t have to do laundry! Turns out the Medium size of the Fruit of the Loom brand is a bit too big fer me. The Medium size in the Merona, Joe Boxer, and Hanes brands fit me just fine. What makes the Fruit of the Loom company so special that they can take their Medium size and apply it to whatever waist size they wish regardless of what everyone else is doing?

Needless to say, yesterday was spent wearing underwear that succumbed to gravity on every given opportunity. I was constantly hitching my brand new pair of boxers up. On more than one occasion, the waistband fell south of the cheek. Were it not for the crotch of my overwear (shorts) my unmentionables would’ve hit the floor. I eventually needed to reconfigure my belt to be the source of support in keeping my boxers on. In the evening as I prepared for bed, I loosened my belt and everything from the waist down (overwear and underwear alike) came crashing to the ground worn and weary from the exertion of holding themselves up all day long. Something had to be done…

So here I am, getting ready to head to the Dylan show altering knit boxer #2 from my Fruit of the Loom 3-pack of Mediums so’s I would have a fresh pair to wear to the show. I’m not even doing a good job. It would be a miracle if the stitching actually held out throughout the day much less for the rest of my underwear’s existence. My stubborn ass just won’t do the laundry.

Happy Dylan Day everybody!


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