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By May 25, 2010hanson says this

How I Got Such an Awesome Chair

This may need a little back story first. I can’t even remember how long I wanted one of those old aluminum frame lawn chairs. You know the ones I’m talking about. They have the woven plastic-y seat and back. Those chairs are better than spring time. Maybe they bring back fond childhood memories or something. I don’t know why I have such an affinity to them. They’re just so awesome. Sitting in one is like sitting in the 80’s. And the 80’s were rad.

So a few years ago Amanda knew about my love for those chairs and she happened to stumble upon one on the streets of Brooklyn. I was on the road at the time and she used technology to send me a picture and get me all hyped up to sit in that beautiful purple-ish woven gem. As soon as I got back to New York we gave it a test run. Now, obviously a chair that was in the trash isn’t going to be in tip top condition. Little did we know it would crash to the floor with me in it after only 3 or 4 seconds of pure sitting bliss. It was upsetting and hilarious all at the same time. Upsetting because within only a minute’s time my lifelong dream was realized and then crushed. Not to mention planting a seed of weight consciousness. But also hilarious because I felt like Jack Tripper or something. From Three’s Company. Remember? Slap stick genius? Anyway…

So more time passed with me not having an awesome lawn chair. Which is alright I guess, because I don’t have a lawn. But still… Then playing music took me up Michigan way. Herb and I had some time to kill so we headed to Lake Michigan to relax and take in the sights. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot I spotted a group of older women all sitting in the most remarkably stunning blue plastic-y woven 80’s style lawn chairs. I half jokingly said to Herb, “I think I could run faster than them.” Implying of course, that I could push the old lady over and grab her wicked awesome chair and sprint to the still running getaway car and then speed away until we were out of sight and then stop and get out and sit in the chair. I was jealous of her chair.

So I sat near these privileged women and Herb went on a walk or something. After reading my book for an hour or so (all the while sneaking jealous peaks at the chair) the women started to pack up as if they were going to leave. Realizing this was my only chance, I went and made my move. The details here have been blurred a little bit with the passing of time. I don’t remember what I said. But it must have been some sort of incredible Jedi mind trick business because before I knew what was happening the lady was giving me her chair for keeps. And not just giving it to me, but DEMANDING that I take the chair. No foollin’. To this day Herb accuses me of accosting the poor woman and physically commandeering her chair. But I swear that was not the case. And then I sat in it and it was glorious. Everything you’d think it would be. What a chair! I wish I was sitting in it right now…


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