Meningitis- Part 2
I woke up the next day in a pool of my own sweat after sleeping for about 14 hours. I was hot. I was cold. I was shivering and shaking and moaning and pretty much feeling like I was knocking on deaths door. I informed my mother that I felt I should get checked out by a doctor. Knowing how much I distrust most medical professionals, my mother knew I must have really been feeling like shit. She drove me to a nearby family practitioner, Dr. Barbano. They demanded my blood and urine and I obliged. The urine part was kinda hard since I was so drastically dehydrated from the illness. But I got some out. It was orange and stunk. Urine that like, with such an obvious problem, had to be able to tell them what was wrong with me. The urine was sick.
Then the good doctor came in and interviewed me for about 30 seconds before coming up with his medically trained diagnosis. Let me give you a transcript of our conversation:
DB- Have you been participating in any strenuous activities?
Me- Yes. Up until 3 days ago I was attempting to walk the entire Appalachian Trail.
DB- So you’ve been spending a lot of time in the woods?
Me- (Are you kidding me??) Yes.
DB- Have you found any ticks on you?
DB- Do you have a headache?
Me- Yes. It’s actually the first one I’ve ever had in my life.
DB- Does your back hurt at all?
Me- Yes. My lower back is killing me. I think it’s because of the crappy matress I slept on the last few nights at a scary hotel in PA.
DB- You have meningitis.
That’s pretty much exactly how it happened.
He then told me that I needed to immediately go to the local emergency room and get a freaking SPINAL TAP! I didn’t know much about meningitis, but I knew that it is often fatal. So I assumed I was gonna die. My mom did too. We got to the emergency room and filled out a bunch of forms and started waiting. Emergency rooms are interesting places. Especially in larger metropolitan areas. There are all kinds of things going on in there. Some people seemed to be rapidly losing blood. Others didn’t seem to be sick at all. And everyone was just waiting.
This story is getting boring so I’ll just wrap it up. I finally saw a doctor. They wanted more blood and urine. I obliged. They talked to me and gave me a drug for my 103.6 degree fever. And then they decided I had ehrlichiosis, a tick born illness similar to lime’s disease but fatal if untreated. They treated it. I didn’t die. Or have meningitis. Or ever go back to that quack Barbano. The end.