Enough With The Zombies

By March 14, 2011hanson says this

I like the internet. Where else can I easily obtain all the knowledge I need on my passions in music (new releases, tour dates, etc.), sports (schedules, important Cub updates, etc.), movies (release dates, trailers, show times, etc.), books, history, museum exhibits, restaurants….you get the idea. The internet has it all.

And it’s not only useful information that the internet so graciously bestows upon us. You can also find web comics, humorous blogs, countless hilarious pictures and videos of people that I will never meet….. Like I said, the internet has it all.

But you know what internet? Enough with the zombie apocalypse crap. I love zombies. I love zombie movies and zombie books and short stories about zombies and contemplating the possibility that my friends are zombies and I imagine cutting their heads clean off with a machete I stole from the British museum while on “holiday” when the top secret experimental gas escaped and infected the whole world within a matter of minutes leaving only us few lucky immune humans to fend for ourselves in the world of flesh eating monsters that are sometimes scary, sometimes hot and sometimes hilarious….. Sorry. I got away from myself there for a moment.

My point is that it is only a matter of time before the internet ruins zombies for me. Just like vampires have been ALMOST ruined for me entirely. There’s still some good vampire stuff being made out there. For example, the movie Let The Right One In. So good. But damnit, Twilight just pisses me off. It’s raising a generation to think that Vampires are these sexy lovable creatures with all these complicated feelings and shit. Come on! Dracula had a soft spot in his heart, sure. But these new vampires are stupid. And you’re probably saying that I’m late to the bash fest, but I’m normally a few years behind popular culture. Someone just informed me about the television show Jersey Shore two days ago. For the record, it sounds dumb as shit.

So please internet, for the love of all things wonderful in the world, please stop with the zombie talk before it becomes something that no intelligent person can appreciate. Thank you.

hanson

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